GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE September 15, 2000

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Malone

Continued from page 11

You're doing what you do because you need to, love to. Most artists, creative people, don't enjoy the business side of their existence. It's not what creative people get pleasure from. But you started you own record label. You understood that you needed to do that to take care of yourself.

Well, sure. After 12 or 13 years of banging my head against the wall, it's either sink or swim. You do what you have to do to continue, or you quit. I think if I weren't making music, I would probably implode. Music is the only way I have to work things through in my life. I'm not a big talker.

I'm not a deep thinker, except when it comes to sitting down with my guitar by myself and getting in touch with what's going on inside myself.

The songs you write can be taken on many levels. Do you feel your music is mainly autobiographical? Do you tell us about you in your music, or are you a storyteller, looking at others from the outside?

I'm definitely not a storyteller. Not at all. I'm just an emotive writer. I'm not a storyteller

and I've tried to be. I don't think that I spend enough time outside of my own bubble, with having my record label and writing and recording and touring and always being about what I'm doing, to really tell someone else's stories. I'm always wrestling with myself.

There was a quote that I got off your web site (www.michellemalone.com) from Girlfriends magazine that says, "I wanted to focus on my soul and not my career." Is this where you're at in life, what your values are, what you're trying to achieve? Can you expound on that?

I think it's a statement about my priorities. I don't make music for fame and fortune. I do it because I have to internally. I just have to. If one day I wake up and I don't feel the need to do it, I won't. I'll really be surprised if that happens, though. At times I just wish I would. It's such a difficult road to try to travel.

It's a blessing and a curse at times, but I'm very grateful to be able to make music and

write and record my own experiences and actually make a living at it. I'm amazed by the fact that I can sit here in my old apartment, write these songs and then go out and play them for people and it actually touches them in a way that I could never foresee.

What do you do for yourself in your quieter moments, to get away from working?

That's a good question. It seems I'm always working, but I have some time off right now to write and record. I'm trying to get a life. I'm biking and reading a little bit and seeing some movies and just trying to enjoy life, instead of always having my nose to the grindstone.

Have you had goosebump moments when you suddenly realize that you're living your dream?

I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. It's only recently that I've realized that I'm actually doing what I've been wanting to do for years. Frankly, I've been doing it for 15 years, but I just didn't recognize it before.

When I was 20, I think I was more about the fame and fortune end of it, because that's what 20-year-olds are about. They don't know any better. Now, it just amazes me, honestly, that I can make a living singing my songs. I'm incredibly blessed. I don't know if I've ever considered it a "dream," it's just what I've always done.

I think my dreams are to sell more records so that I can buy a cabin in the woods and just get the fuck away from everything.

Besides recording your next CD, what other projects are you working on?

I'm putting out my mom's record, actually. We recorded a live jazz CD with my mom and her band. Her name is Karyn Malone. The CD will be available on my web site in a couple weeks and will be in stores by November. It's a jazzy, loungy record of standards. She's amazing. She's been my biggest vocal influence. I used to watch her sing and go on the road with her when I was a kid. I just thought she was the end-all and be-all.

This must be quite a kick to be able to do this with her and for her.

Yeah, I just wish I could have done it sooner. I wish I would have had my own label ten years ago so that I could have done it then.

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gay & lesbian community

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